As Doulas our primary role is to be a labour and birth support person. That paints a picture that our primary and/or sole focus is on the labouring mother. This leaves many dads/partners iffy on where they fit into the grand scheme of things.
They may be hesitant about doulas. Who is the usurper of our position? Why are we paying her to do things that I can probably do just as well?
Well for starters, a doula is never there to usurp a dad's role in the birth. We love dads! No seriously WE LOVE DADS! It always makes us smile when a dad jumps right in with both feet to offer love and support. A doula can absolutely never replace that, we do not have the same sort of love or feelings for your wife/mother of your child as you do!
So if the doula isn't going to take over....what is she going to do?
In the words of one of my favorite dads that I have had the pleasure of supporting "She is a superhero of all things birth and baby!" Yes that's right folks, your doula knows birth! She knows the ins and outs and inner works of birth. She has more tips and tricks up her sleeve then that What to Expect book you glanced at in Chapters. AND she will share those tips and tricks with you to help guide you to support the mother of your child. She will help you navigate all the beeps, buttons, noises, words, and sights thrown at you when you enter a labour and delivery room. She will show you how to rub your partner's back just right through a contraction. Your doula will quietly take a step back while you sit there holding her hand, whispering how proud of her you are. She will step in when your partner looses focus and you are lost on what to do, she will gently bring that focus back.
She will be there to hold your partner's hand while you run to the bathroom, to make sure that you eat, and even grab a quick nap if necessary. And once the grand event of pushing gets under way, she will prepare to step back and give you your space to admire the beautiful baby that will soon be yours. While you are busy staring in awe at the woman who birthed your baby and that precious new life in her arms, your doula will be watching you, she will be taking pictures, and quietly ever so quietly she may wipe a tear from her eye at witnessing such a moment of pure joy.
Like I said, we LOVE dads! And we hope that dads will love us too!